This is the second personal story of mine that has been published in Chicken Soup For The Soul. “My Army Of Angels” was published in the Miracles & The Unexplainable edition in the fall of 2022. You can read my first story published in the Mom Knows Best edition in 2019 here: The Strength Of Forgiveness.
One of the last and one of the only photos taken of me and my “Daddy Del”. My father died two weeks after this photo was taken.
I was born into a grieving household—my father was killed by a drunk driver when I was only nine weeks old. My first memory, at three years old, is my grandfather suffering a heart attack and dying right before my eyes. On my eighteenth birthday, my other grandfather died. On my twenty-first birthday, my best friend Becky was killed by a drunk driver on her way to my surprise party. And on my twenty-fifth birthday my great-grandfather died. I always thought I was jinxed because of all the death around me, but that all changed in 1999, when I came face-to-face with death myself, after suffering a pulmonary embolism.
Someone asked me the other day if I believed in angels. I had to take a minute and collect my thoughts before answering. I never know how much of my personal experience to divulge because it was so incredible.
It was during the first couple days that I was in the ICU after my embolism. They all came to me—my father, my three grandfathers and my best friend, Becky. They surrounded my hospital bed and whispered words of love and encouragement. “You are not alone, we are always by your side,” they said. “We will guide you, if you allow us—just take us with you.” I felt their love and the warmth of their presence so strongly. They stayed right with me during those days I spent in the ICU. They spoke to me and inspired me to fight for my life. I don’t think I’d be alive today if it weren’t for them.
After a week in the hospital, I was released and returned to the world with a new, deeper appreciation for life. And for the last twenty-plus years, I have ended every day with a prayer of gratitude for the extra days I have been given.
Even though I haven’t “seen” my angels since I left the hospital, I am constantly aware of their presence. And since then, more angels have joined them—a dear friend and true love I lost to cancer in 2001, my younger brother who passed away in July of 2018, a dear childhood friend who lost her battle with cancer in August of 2018, and my mother who died of a rare brain disease in 2019.
Two of my most recent angels, my brother and my mother.
Life hasn’t been easy, especially since losing my mother and brother, and there are times when I dissolve under the weight of fear and grief. That’s when I whisper, “Are you there?” and immediately I feel the glowing warmth of my angels’ presence. I hear their words of love and inspiration in the gentle breeze, I feel their encouragement in the mighty mountains that surround me, and I feel their love in the kiss of sunshine on my skin. They have stood by me through harrowing job interviews, painful breakups, admirable achievements and heartbreaking losses. They hold me up when I feel too weak to stand on my own. They remind me, every day, that I am not alone and that I am loved.
So, to answer the question, do I believe in angels? My answer is, unequivocally, yes! I travel through this world with an army of angels everywhere I go.